Empathy Can Be Learned—If You’re Open to It
Several years ago, one of our clients in my IT business gave us a low score on a survey. Now, I’ll be honest—at first, I was frustrated. We’d made a simple scheduling mistake. It happens, right?
But as I looked deeper and listened back to the call, I saw it wasn’t just the scheduling mistake that upset them.
It was how we responded to it on the phone.
We didn’t show we cared. We didn’t show empathy.
Our dispatcher—someone known for her friendly, upbeat tone—handled the call like any other. But in that moment, the client didn’t need friendly. They needed to feel understood. They needed to know we took their issue seriously.
And we missed that.
I realized right then that empathy isn’t just something we “hope” people have—it’s something we must teach. So, I sat down with our dispatcher and we talked. We walked through the power of how we respond. How just a shift in tone, a different choice of words, could make someone feel heard, valued, and cared for.
And guess what? She got it. She grew. And our survey scores? They climbed right back up.
That experience taught me something important:
Empathy isn’t a nice-to-have. It’s a skill. A choice. And when we make that choice—consistently—it transforms not just our client relationships, but our team culture too.
Sympathy Says, “I’m Sorry.”
Empathy Says, “I’m With You.”
A lot of people—especially leaders—confuse sympathy with empathy.
Sympathy is simple. It starts and stops with, “I’m sorry.”
It’s acknowledging that someone is going through something hard, but from a distance. It’s polite. It’s well-meaning. But it’s not enough.
Empathy? Empathy is stepping into that moment with them. It’s choosing to feel with them. As Brené Brown says, “Empathy is feeling with people.”
Sympathy says, “That’s tough. Hope it gets better.”
Empathy says, “I know how hard this must be right now. Let’s figure this out together.”
In any service business—empathy isn’t optional. It’s the glue that holds relationships together. It’s what keeps a client from walking away when things don’t go perfectly. It’s what makes people stay loyal, not just because you fix things, but because you get them.
Empathy in Action—What It Really Looks Like
Let’s break it down. This is what it looks like for my IT business, imagine what it looks like in your business.
A client calls, frustrated because they can’t access a file they need urgently.
A sympathetic response?
“Okay, I’ll get someone on that.”
An empathetic response?
“I totally understand how frustrating it is not being able to find that file right now. Let me jump on this—we’ll have a tech reach out within the hour.”
It’s not just about being nice. It’s about connecting.
Empathy acknowledges feelings. It builds trust. It shows that we’re not just here to solve problems, but to support people.
Why Empathy Matters Now More Than Ever
Here’s what I know:
You can have the best tech skills, the best products, the best processes—but if people don’t feel cared for, they won’t stick around.
When I started focusing on empathy—really teaching it, modeling it, practicing it—that’s when everything shifted.
Our team got stronger. Our clients stayed longer. And we started to grow—not just in numbers, but in connection.
Every leader, every business owner, has the chance to lead with empathy. To choose to be the kind of person who doesn’t just acknowledge a problem, but steps into it with care and understanding.
Because our teams are watching. Our clients are watching.
And they’ll follow our lead.
The Real Power of Empathy
I used to think resolving client issues faster was the goal.
But what really made the difference? Was teaching my team to care more deeply.
Empathy isn’t just good for business—it’s good for people. It’s what builds bonds, trust, and loyalty.
And right now? Our world is craving more of that.
Let’s be the ones to lead with empathy.
Let’s be the ones who show it, teach it, and live it—every day.
How Do You Show Empathy?
I’d love to hear your stories—how have you brought empathy into your business? What difference has it made? Drop a comment below, and let’s keep this conversation going.
Previously published on Substack.
