In the early 1990s, before I had my own business, I worked for a manager named Fred who completely shifted my perception of what a leader should be.

When I first met Fred, he seemed like a good manager. He asked questions about my work, seemed engaged, and even gave me a thoughtful Christmas gift. But over time, his behavior told another story.

One day, without any warning or conversation, he informed me that someone who had joined the company after me would now be my manager. His explanation? “She has a college degree. You don’t.” I thought, “I had longevity with the company, experience, pride for the brand, and grit, didn’t that account for more than a college degree?”

The story gets worse, after I made a mistake on a client order, Fred brought me into his office with another executive sitting silently beside him. Instead of addressing the error constructively, he told me to go home and decide how I should be punished.

Imagine that being you in each of those instances? How did you feel? I felt dismissed, demoralized, devalued, and small. And I realized: this wasn’t leadership. Leaders don’t rule through fear and intimidation. A great leader commands respect through empathetic and emotionally intelligent behavior.

Behavior Shapes Your Brand

The “B” in my B.R.A.N.D. Method stands for Behavior because how you show up every day defines how people experience you.

Your behavior is the signal your clients and your team receive about whether they can trust you, whether you value them, and whether you’re the leader they want to follow.

Fred’s behavior drove me away. But great leaders use their behavior to build people up.

Demanding vs. Commanding

Fred demanded attention through control. He thought authority alone made him a leader.

But intentional leaders don’t demand — they command attention. Not through fear, but through consistent behaviors that inspire others to give their best.

Commanding leaders:

• Act with integrity and transparency
• Listen and assess before they speak
• Take responsibility for mistakes and turn them into learning moments
• Lead by example, showing resilience and respect
• Make people feel valued and seen

When you behave this way, people naturally lean in. They want to follow you.

Behavior in Action

Think about your own leadership

• When your team makes mistakes, do you react with frustration or curiosity?
• When a client is unhappy, do you deflect blame or take ownership?
• When opportunities come up, do you highlight your team’s contributions or your own?

The answers show what your behavior is really communicating.

As leadership expert Simon Sinek says:
“The art of leadership is about inspiring people to build something, not threatening to break something.”

Take The First Step Toward Leadership Growth

• What message do my actions send every day?
• Am I building my brand through integrity, empathy, and consistency — or am I unintentionally breaking it through silence, dismissal, or fear?

As Maya Angelou once said: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”

And that memory becomes your brand.

Ready to Transform Your Leadership?

Book your 60-Minute B.R.A.N.D. Breakthrough Session

In one hour, we will walk through your personalized B.R.A.N.D. Scorecard, uncover blind spots, and map out practical strategies you can put into action right away.